- But she did not venture to say it out
loud.
- Thinking again? - the Duchess asked, with another dig of her sharp
little chin.
- I've a right to think - said Alice sharply, for she was beginning
to feel a little worried.
- Just about as much right, - said the Duchess, - as pigs have to
fly; and the m
But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died away,
even in the middle of her favourite word - moral, - and the arm that was
linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up, and there stood the
Queen in front of them, with her arms folded, frowning like a
thunderstorm.
- A fine day, your Majesty! - the Duchess began in a low, weak voice.
- Now, I give you fair warning, - shouted the Queen, stamping on the
ground as she spoke; - either you or your head must be off, and that in
about half no time! Take your choice!
The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment. - Let's go on
with the game, - the Queen said to Alice; and Alice was too much
frightened to say a word, but slowly followed her back to the
croquet-ground.
The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence, and were
resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her, they hurried back
to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a moment's delay would cost
them their lives.
All the time they were playing the Queen never left off quarrelling
with the other players, and shouting - Off with his head! - or - Off with
her head! - Those whom she sentenced were taken into custody by the
soldiers, who of course had to leave off being arches to do this, so that
by the end of half an hour or so there were no arches left, and all the
players, except the King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under
sentence of execution.
Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to Alice, -
Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet? - No, - said Alice. - I don't even know
what a Mock Turtle is. - It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from, -
said the Queen. - I never saw one, or heard of one, - said Alice. - Come
on, then, - said the Queen, - and he shall tell you his history,
As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low voice,
to the company generally, - You are all pardoned. - - Come, THAT'S a good
thing! - she said to herself, for she had felt quite unhappy at the number
of executions the Queen had ordered.
They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the sun. (IF
you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.) - Up, lazy thing!
- said the Queen, - and take this young lady to see the Mock Turtle, and
to hear his history. I must go back and see after some executions I have
ordered; - and she walked off, leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice
did not quite like the look of the creature, but on the whole she thought
it would be quite as safe to stay with it as to go after that savage
Queen: so she waited.
The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the Queen
till she was out of sight: then it chuckled. - What fun! - said the
Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.
- What IS the fun? - said Alice.
- Why, SHE, - said the Gryphon. - It's all her fancy, that: they
never executes nobody, you know. Come on!
- Everybody says - come on! - here, - thought Alice, as she went
slowly after it: - I never was so ordered about in all my life, never!
They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the
distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and, as they
came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart would break. She
pitied him deeply. - What is his sorrow? - she asked the Gryphon, and the
Gryphon answered, very nearly in the same words as before, - It's all his
fancy, that: he hasn't got no sorrow, you know. Come on!
So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with large
eyes full of tears, but said nothing.
- This here young lady, - said the Gryphon, - she wants for to know
your history, she do.
- I'll tell it her, - said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone: -
sit down, both of you, and don't speak a word till I've finished. So they
sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice thought to herself, - I
don't see how he can EVEN finish, if he doesn't begin. - But she waited
patiently.
- Once, - said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, - I was a
real Turtle.
These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only by an
occasional exclamation of - Hjckrrh! - from the Gryphon, and the constant
heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very nearly getting up and
saying, - Thank you, sir, for your interesting story, but she could not
help thinking there MUST be more to come, so she sat still and said
nothing.
- When we were little, - the Mock Turtle went on at last, more
calmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, - we went to school in
the sea. The master was an old Turtle - we used to call him Tortoise
- Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one? - Alice asked.
- We called him Tortoise because he taught us, - said the Mock Turtle
angrily: - really you are very dull!
- You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple
question, - added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and looked at
poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At last the Gryphon
said to the Mock Turtle, - Drive on, old fellow! Don't be all day about
it! - and he went on in these words:
- Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe it
- I never said I didn't! - interrupted Alice.
- You did, - said the Mock Turtle.
- Hold your tongue! - added the Gryphon, before Alice could speak
again. The Mock Turtle went on.
- We had the best of educations - in fact, we went to school every
day
- I'VE been to a day-school, too, - said Alice; - you needn't be so
proud as all that.
- With extras? - asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.
- Yes, - said Alice, - we learned French and music.
- And washing? - said the Mock Turtle.
- Certainly not! - said Alice indignantly.
- Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school, - said the Mock Turtle
in a tone of great relief. - Now at OURS they had at the end of the bill,
- French, music, AND WASHING - extra.
- You couldn't have wanted it much, - said Alice; - living at the
bottom of the sea.
- I couldn't afford to learn it. - said the Mock Turtle with a sigh.
- I only took the regular course. - What was that? - inquired Alice. -
Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with, - the Mock Turtle replied;
- and then the different branches of Arithmetic-Ambition, Distraction,
Uglification, and Derision.
- I never heard of - Uglification, - Alice ventured to say. - What is
it?
The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. - What! Never heard
of uglifying! - it exclaimed. - You know what to beautify is, I suppose?
- Yes, - said Alice doubtfully: - it means - to - make - anything
prettier.
- Well, then, - the Gryphon went on, - if you don't know what to
uglify is, you ARE a simpleton.
Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about it, so
she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said - What else had you to learn?
- Well, there was Mystery, - the Mock Turtle replied, counting off
the subjects on his flappers, - Mystery, ancient and modern, with
Seaography: then Drawling - the Drawling-master was an old conger-eel,
that used to come once a week: HE taught us Drawling, Stretching, and
Fainting in Coils.
- What was THAT like? - said Alice.
- Well, I can't show it you myself, - the Mock Turtle said: - I'm too
stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it.
- Hadn't time, - said the Gryphon: - I went to the Classics master,
though. He was an old crab, HE was.
- I never went to him, - the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: - he
taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.
- So he did, so he did, - said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn; and
both creatures hid their faces in their paws.
- And how many hours a day did you do lessons? - said Alice, in a
hurry to change the subject.
- Ten hours the first day, - said the Mock Turtle: - nine the next,
and so on.
- What a curious plan! - exclaimed Alice.
- That's the reason they're called lessons, - the Gryphon remarked: -
because they lessen from day to day. This was quite a new idea to Alice,
and she thought it over a little before she made her next remark. - Then
the eleventh day must have been a holiday?
- Of course it was, - said the Mock Turtle.
- And how did you manage on the twelfth? - Alice went on eagerly.
- That's enough about lessons, - the Gryphon interrupted in a very
decided tone: - tell her something about the games now.



CHAPTER X

The Lobster Quadrille

The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one flapper
across his eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak, but for a minute
or two sobs choked his voice. - Same as if he had a bone in his throat, -
said the Gryphon: and it set to work shaking him and punching him in the
back. At last the Mock Turtle recovered his voice, and, with tears running
down his cheeks, he went on again:
- You may not have lived much under the sea - (I haven't, - said
Alice) - and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster(Alice
began to say - I once tasted - but checked herself hastily, and said - No,
never') - so you can have no idea what a delightful thing a Lobster
Quadrille is!
- No, indeed, - said Alice. - What sort of a dance is it?
- Why, - said the Gryphon, - you first form into a line along the
sea-shore
- Two lines! - cried the Mock Turtle. - Seals, turtles, salmon, and
so on; then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of the way
- THAT generally takes some time, - interrupted the Gryphon.
- you advance twice
- Each with a lobster as a partner! - cried the Gryphon.
- Of course, - the Mock Turtle said: - advance twice, set to partners
- change lobsters, and retire in same order, - continued the Gryphon.
- Then, you know, - the Mock Turtle went on, - you throw the
- The lobsters! - shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the air.
- as far out to sea as you can
- Swim after them! - screamed the Gryphon.
- Back to land again, and that's all the first figure, - said the
Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two creatures, who had
been jumping about like mad things all this time, sat down again very
sadly and quietly, and looked at Alice.
- It must be a very pretty dance, - said Alice timidly.
- Would you like to see a little of it? - said the Mock Turtle.
- Very much indeed, - said Alice.
- Come, let's try the first figure! - said the Mock Turtle to the
Gryphon. - We can do without lobsters, you know. Which shall sing?
- Oh, YOU sing, - said the Gryphon. - I've forgotten the words. So
they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now and then
treading on her toes when they passed too close, and waving their forepaws
to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle sang this, very slowly and sadly:-
- Will you walk a little faster? - said a whiting to a snail.
- There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on my tail.
See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance! They are waiting
on the shingle - will you come and join the dance? Will you, won't you,
will you, won't you, will you join the dance? Will you, won't you, will
you, won't you, won't you join the dance?

- You can really have no notion how delightful it will be When they
take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to
sea! - But the
snail replied - Too far, too far! - and gave a look
askance - Said
he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not join the
dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not, would not join the
dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not, could not join the
dance.

- What matters it how far we go? - his scaly friend replied. - There
is another shore, you know, upon the other side. The further off from
England the nearer is to France-Then turn not pale, beloved snail, but
come and join the dance.

Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance?
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join the dance?

- Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch, - said Alice,
feeling very glad that it was over at last: - and I do so like that
curious song about the whiting!
- Oh, as to the whiting, - said the Mock Turtle, - they - you've seen
them, of course?
- Yes, - said Alice, - I've often seen them at dinn - she checked
herself hastily.
- I don't know where Dinn may be, - said the Mock Turtle, - but if
you've seen them so often, of course you know what they're like.
- I believe so, - Alice replied thoughtfully. - They have their tails
in their mouths - and they're all over crumbs.
- You're wrong about the crumbs, - said the Mock Turtle: - crumbs
would all wash off in the sea. But they HAVE their tails in their mouths;
and the reason is - here the Mock Turtle yawned and shut his eyes. - Tell
her about the reason and all that, - he said to the Gryphon.
- The reason is, - said the Gryphon, - that they WOULD go with the
lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So they had to fall
a long way. So they got their tails fast in their mouths. So they couldn't
get them out again. That's all.
- Thank you, - said Alice, - it's very interesting. I never knew so
much about a whiting before.
- I can tell you more than that, if you like, - said the Gryphon. -
Do you know why it's called a whiting?
- I never thought about it, - said Alice. - Why?
- IT DOES THE BOOTS AND SHOES. - the Gryphon replied very solemnly.
Alice was thoroughly puzzled. - Does the boots and shoes! - she repeated
in a wondering tone.
- Why, what are YOUR shoes done with? - said the Gryphon. - I mean,
what makes them so shiny?
Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she gave
her answer. - They're done with blacking, I believe.
- Boots and shoes under the sea, - the Gryphon went on in a deep
voice, - are done with a whiting. Now you know.
- And what are they made of? - Alice asked in a tone of great
curiosity.
- Soles and eels, of course, - the Gryphon replied rather
impatiently: - any shrimp could have told you that.
- If I'd been the whiting, - said Alice, whose thoughts were still
running on the song, - I'd have said to the porpoise, - Keep back, please:
we don't want YOU with us!
- They were obliged to have him with them, - the Mock Turtle said: -
no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise. - Wouldn't it really? -
said Alice in a tone of great surprise. - Of course not, - said the Mock
Turtle: - why, if a fish came to ME, and told me he was going a journey, I
should say - With what porpoise?
- Don't you mean - purpose - ? - said Alice.
- I mean what I say, - the Mock Turtle replied in an offended tone.
And the Gryphon added - Come, let's hear some of YOUR adventures.
- I could tell you my adventures - beginning from this morning, -
said Alice a little timidly: - but it's no use going back to yesterday,
because I was a different person then.
- Explain all that, - said the Mock Turtle.
- No, no! The adventures first, - said the Gryphon in an impatient
tone: - explanations take such a dreadful time.
So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when she
first saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about it just at
first, the two creatures got so close to her, one on each side, and opened
their eyes and mouths so VERY wide, but she gained courage as she went on.
Her listeners were perfectly quiet till she got to the part about her
repeating - YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM, - to the Caterpillar, and the
words all coming different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath,
and said - That's very curious.
- It's all about as curious as it can be, - said the Gryphon.
- It all came different! - the Mock Turtle repeated thoughtfully. - I
should like to hear her try and repeat something now. Tell her to begin. -
He looked at the Gryphon as if he thought it had some kind of authority
over Alice.
- Stand up and repeat - 'TIS THE VOICE OF THE SLUGGARD, - said the
Gryphon.
- How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat lessons!
thought Alice; - I might as well be at school at once. - However, she got
up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so full of the Lobster
Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was saying, and the words came
very queer indeed:

- 'Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare,
- You have baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair. As a duck with
its eyelids, so he with his nose Trims his belt and his buttons, and turns
out his toes.

[later editions continued as follows
When the sands are all dry, he is gay as a lark,
And will talk in contemptuous tones of the Shark,
But, when the tide rises and sharks are around,
His voice has a timid and tremulous sound.]

- That's different from what I used to say when I was a child, - said
the Gryphon.
- Well, I never heard it before, - said the Mock Turtle; - but it
sounds uncommon nonsense.
Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her hands,
wondering if anything would EVER happen in a natural way again.
- I should like to have it explained, - said the Mock Turtle.
- She can't explain it, - said the Gryphon hastily. - Go on with the
next verse.
- But about his toes? - the Mock Turtle persisted. - How COULD he
turn them out with his nose, you know?
- It's the first position in dancing. - Alice said; but was
dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the subject.
- Go on with the next verse, - the Gryphon repeated impatiently: - it
begins - I passed by his garden.
Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would all come
wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:

- I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, How the Owl and
the Panther were sharing a pie

[later editions continued as follows
The Panther took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat,
While the Owl had the dish as its share of the treat.
When the pie was all finished, the Owl, as a boon,
Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon:
While the Panther received knife and fork with a growl,
And concluded the banquet - ]

- What IS the use of repeating all that stuff, - the Mock Turtle
interrupted, - if you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far the most
confusing thing I ever heard!
- Yes, I think you'd better leave off, - said the Gryphon: and Alice
was only too glad to do so.
- Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille? - the Gryphon
went on. - Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a song?
- Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind, - Alice
replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather offended toe,
- Hm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her - Turtle Soup, - will you,
old fellow?
The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes choked
with sobs, to sing this:

- Beautiful Soup, so rich and green, Waiting in a hot tureen! Who for
such dainties would not stoop? Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup! Soup
of the evening, beautiful Soup!
Beau - ootiful Soo - oop!
Beau - ootiful Soo - oop!
Soo - oop of the e - e - evening,
Beautiful, beautiful Soup!

- Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish, Game, or any other dish? Who
would not give all else for two p ennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup?
Beau - ootiful Soo - oop!
Beau - ootiful Soo - oop!
Soo - oop of the e - e - evening,
Beautiful, beauti - FUL SOUP!

- Chorus again! - cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had just
begun to repeat it, when a cry of - The trial's beginning! - was heard in
the distance.
- Come on! - cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand, it
hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song.
- What trial is it? - Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon only
answered - Come on! - and ran the faster, while more and more faintly
came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the melancholy words:

- Soo - oop of the e - e - evening, Beautiful, beautiful Soup!



CHAPTER XI

Who Stole the Tarts?

The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when they
arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them - all sorts of little
birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8