the Knave was
standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on each side to guard him;
and near the King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one hand, and a
scroll of parchment in the other. In the very middle of the court was a
table, with a large dish of tarts upon it: they looked so good, that it
made Alice quite hungry to look at them - I wish they'd get the trial
done, - she thought, - and hand round the refreshments! - But there seemed
to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about her, to
pass away the time.
Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had read
about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that she knew the
name of nearly everything there. - That's the judge, - she said to
herself, - because of his great wig.
The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown over
the wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he did it,) he
did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly not becoming.
- And that's the jury-box, - thought Alice, - and those twelve
creatures, - (she was obliged to say - creatures, - you see, because some
of them were animals, and some were birds,) - I suppose they are the
jurors. - She said this last word two or three times over to herself,
being rather proud of it: for she thought, and rightly too, that very few
little girls of her age knew the meaning of it at all. However, - jury-men
- would have done just as well.
The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. - What are
they doing? - Alice whispered to the Gryphon. - They can't have anything
to put down yet, before the trial's begun.
- They're putting down their names, - the Gryphon whispered in reply,
- for fear they should forget them before the end of the trial. - Stupid
things! - Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but she stopped hastily,
for the White Rabbit cried out, - Silence in the court! - and the King put
on his spectacles and looked anxiously round, to make out who was talking.
Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their shoulders,
that all the jurors were writing down - stupid things! - on their slates,
and she could even make out that one of them didn't know how to spell -
stupid, - and that he had to ask his neighbour to tell him. - A nice
muddle their slates'll be in before the trial's over! - thought Alice.
One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course, Alice
could not stand, and she went round the court and got behind him, and very
soon found an opportunity of taking it away. She did it so quickly that
the poor little juror (it was Bill, the Lizard) could not make out at all
what had become of it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was obliged
to write with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was of very
little use, as it left no mark on the slate.
- Herald, read the accusation! - said the King. On this the White
Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and then unrolled the parchment
scroll, and read as follows:
- The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, All on a summer day:
The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,
And took them quite away!
- Consider your verdict, - the King said to the jury.
- Not yet, not yet! - the Rabbit hastily interrupted. - There's a
great deal to come before that!
- Call the first witness, - said the King; and the White Rabbit blew
three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, - First witness!
The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in one
hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. - I beg pardon, your
Majesty, - he began, - for bringing these in: but I hadn't quite finished
my tea when I was sent for.
- You ought to have finished, - said the King. - When did you begin?
The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into the court,
arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. - Fourteenth of March, I think it was, - he
said.
- Fifteenth, - said the March Hare.
- Sixteenth, - added the Dormouse.
- Write that down, - the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly
wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and
reduced the answer to shillings and pence.
- Take off your hat, - the King said to the Hatter.
- It isn't mine, - said the Hatter.
- Stolen! - the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly
made a memorandum of the fact.
- I keep them to sell, - the Hatter added as an explanation; - I've
none of my own. I'm a hatter.
Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the
Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted.
- Give your evidence, - said the King; - and don't be nervous, or
I'll have you executed on the spot.
This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept shifting
form one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and in his
confusion he bit a large piece out of his teacup instead of the
bread-and-butter.
Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which
puzzled her a good deal until she made out what it was: she was beginning
to grow larger again, and she thought at first she would get up and leave
the court; but on second thoughts she decided to remain where she was as
long as there was room for her.
- I wish you wouldn't squeeze so. - said the Dormouse, who was
sitting next to her. - I can hardly breathe.
- I can't help it, - said Alice very meekly: - I'm growing.
- You've no right to grow here, - said the Dormouse.
- Don't talk nonsense, - said Alice more boldly: - you know you're
growing too.
- Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace, - said the Dormouse: - not in
that ridiculous fashion. - And he got up very sulkily and crossed over to
the other side of the court.
All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter,
and, just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to one of the
officers of the court, - Bring me the list of the singers in the last
concert! - on which the wretched Hatter trembled so, that he shook both
his shoes off.
- Give your evidence, - the King repeated angrily, - or I'll have you
executed, whether you're nervous or not.
- I'm a poor man, your Majesty, - the Hatter began, in a trembling
voice, - and I hadn't begun my tea - not above a week or so - and what
with the bread-and-butter getting so thin - and the twinkling of the tea
- The twinkling of the what? - said the King.
- It began with the tea, - the Hatter replied.
- Of course twinkling begins with a T! - said the King sharply. - Do
you take me for a dunce? Go on!
- I'm a poor man, - the Hatter went on, - and most things twinkled
after that - only the March Hare said
- I didn't! - said the Hatter.
- I deny it! - said the King: - leave out that part.
- Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said - the Hatter went on, looking
anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but the Dormouse denied
nothing, being fast asleep.
- After that, - continued the Hatter, - I cut some more bread
and-butter
- But what did the Dormouse say? - one of the jury asked.
- That I can't remember, - said the Hatter.
- You MUST remember, - remarked the King, - or I'll have you
executed. The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter,
and went down on one knee. - I'm a poor man, your Majesty, - he began.
- You're a very poor speaker, - said the King. Here one of the
guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately suppressed by the officers of the
court. (As that is rather a hard word, I will just explain to you how it
was done. They had a large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth with
strings: into this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat
upon it.)
- I'm glad I've seen that done, - thought Alice. - I've so often read
in the newspapers, at the end of trials, - There was some attempts at
applause, which was immediately suppressed by the officers of the court, -
and I never understood what it meant till now.
- If that's all you know about it, you may stand down, - continued
the King.
- I can't go no lower, - said the Hatter: - I'm on the floor, as it
is.
- Then you may SIT down, - the King replied. Here the other
guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed. - Come, that finished the
guinea-pigs! - thought Alice. - Now we shall get on better.
- I'd rather finish my tea, - said the Hatter, with an anxious look
at the Queen, who was reading the list of singers.
- You may go, - said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the
court, without even waiting to put his shoes on.
- and just take his head off outside, - the Queen added to one of the
officers: but the Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get to
the door.
- Call the next witness! - said the King. The next witness was the
Duchess's cook. She carried the pepper-box in her hand, and Alice guessed
who it was, even before she got into the court, by the way the people near
the door began sneezing all at once.
- Give your evidence, - said the King.
- Shan't, - said the cook. The King looked anxiously at the White
Rabbit, who said in a low voice, - Your Majesty must cross-examine THIS
witness.
- Well, if I must, I must, - the King said, with a melancholy air,
and, after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till his eyes were
nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, - What are tarts made of?
- Pepper, mostly, - said the cook.
- Treacle, - said a sleepy voice behind her.
- Collar that Dormouse, - the Queen shrieked out. - Behead that
Dormouse! Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch him! Off
with his whiskers!
For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the
Dormouse turned out, and, by the time they had settled down again, the
cook had disappeared.
- Never mind! - said the King, with an air of great relief. - Call
the next witness. - And he added in an undertone to the Queen, - Really,
my dear, YOU must cross-examine the next witness. It quite makes my
forehead ache!
Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list, feeling
very curious to see what the next witness would be like, - for they
haven't got much evidence YET, - she said to herself. Imagine her
surprise, when the White Rabbit read out, at the top of his shrill little
voice, the name - Alice!
CHAPTER XII
Alice's Evidence
- Here! - cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment
how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in such
a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her skirt,
upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the crowd below, and there
they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a globe of goldfish
she had accidentally upset the week before.
- Oh, I BEG your pardon! - she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay,
and began picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the accident
of the goldfish kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of idea
that they must be collected at once and put back into the jury-box, or
they would die.
- The trial cannot proceed, - said the King in a very grave voice, -
until all the jurymen are back in their proper places-ALL, - he repeated
with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he said do.
Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put
the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its
tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon got
it out again, and put it right; - not that it signifies much, - she said
to herself; - I should think it would be QUITE as much use in the trial
one way up as the other.
As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being
upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to
them, they set to work very diligently to write out a history of the
accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do
anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into the roof of the
court.
- What do you know about this business? - the King said to Alice.
- Nothing, - said Alice.
- Nothing WHATEVER? - persisted the King.
- Nothing whatever, - said Alice.
- That's very important, - the King said, turning to the jury. They
were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White
Rabbit interrupted: - UNimportant, your Majesty means, of course, - he
said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he
spoke.
- UNimportant, of course, I meant, - the King hastily said, and went
on to himself in an undertone,
- important - unimportant-unimportant - important - as if he were
trying which word sounded best.
Some of the jury wrote it down - important, - and some - unimportant.
Alice could see this, as she was near enough to look over their slates; -
but it doesn't matter a bit, - she thought to herself.
At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in
his note-book, cackled out - Silence! - and read out from his book,
- Rule Forty-two. ALL PERSONS MORE THAN A MILE HIGH TO LEAVE THE
COURT.
Everybody looked at Alice. - I'M not a mile high, - said Alice. - You
are, - said the King. - Nearly two miles high, - added the Queen. - Well,
I shan't go, at any rate, - said Alice: - besides, that's not a regular
rule: you invented it just now.
- It's the oldest rule in the book, - said the King.
- Then it ought to be Number One, - said Alice. The King turned pale,
and shut his note-book hastily. - Consider your verdict, - he said to the
jury, in a low, trembling voice.
- There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty, - said the
White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; - this paper has just been
picked up.
- What's in it? - said the Queen.
- I haven't opened it yet, said the White Rabbit, - but it seems to
be a letter, written by the prisoner to - to somebody.
- It must have been that, - said the King, - unless it was written to
nobody, which isn't usual, you know.
- Who is it directed to? - said one of the jurymen.
- It isn't directed at all, - said the White Rabbit; - in fact,
there's nothing written on the OUTSIDE. - He unfolded the paper as he
spoke, and added - It isn't a letter, after all: it's a set of verses.
- Are they in the prisoner's handwriting? - asked another of they
jurymen.
- No, they're not, - said the White Rabbit, - and that's the queerest
thing about it. - (The jury all looked puzzled.)
- He must have imitated somebody else's hand, - said the King. (The
jury all brightened up again.)
- Please your Majesty, - said the Knave, - I didn't write it, and
they can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.
- If you didn't sign it, - said the King, - that only makes the
matter worse. You MUST have meant some mischief, or else you'd have signed
your name like an honest man.
There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the first
really clever thing the King had said that day.
- That PROVES his guilt, - said the Queen.
- It proves nothing of the sort! - said Alice. - Why, you don't even
know what they're about!
- Read them, - said the King. The White Rabbit put on his spectacles.
- Where shall I begin, please your Majesty? - he asked.
- Begin at the beginning, - the King said gravely, - and go on till
you come to the end: then stop.
These were the verses the White Rabbit read:
- They told me you had been to her,
And mentioned me to him:
She gave me a good character,
But said I could not swim.
He sent them word I had not gone
(We know it to be true):
If she should push the matter on,
What would become of you?
I gave her one, they gave him two,
You gave us three or more;
They all returned from him to you,
Though they were mine before.
If I or she should chance to be
Involved in this affair,
He trusts to you to set them free,
Exactly as we were.
My notion was that you had been
(Before she had this fit)
An obstacle that came between
Him, and ourselves, and it.
Don't let him know she liked them best,
For this must ever be
A secret, kept from all the rest,
Between yourself and me.
- That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet, - said
the King, rubbing his hands; - so now let the jury
- If any one of them can explain it, - said Alice, (she had grown so
large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit afraid of interrupting
him,) - I'll give him sixpence. _I_ don't believe there's an atom of
meaning in it.
The jury all wrote down on their slates, - SHE doesn't believe
there's an atom of meaning in it, - but none of them attempted to explain
the paper.
- If there's no meaning in it, - said the King, - that saves a world
of trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. And yet I don't know,
- he went on, spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking at them
with one eye; - I seem to see some meaning in them, after all.
- SAID I COULD NOT SWIM - you can't swim, can you? - he added,
turning to the Knave.
The Knave shook his head sadly. - Do I look like it? - he said.
(Which he certainly did NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.)
- All right, so far, - said the King, and he went on muttering over
the verses to himself: - WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE - that's the jury, of
course - - I GAVE HER ONE, THEY GAVE HIM TWO - why, that must be what he
did with the tarts, you know
- But, it goes on - THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU, - said Alice.
- Why, there they are! - said the King triumphantly, pointing to the
tarts on the table. - Nothing can be clearer than THAT. Then again -
BEFORE SHE HAD THIS FIT - you never had fits, my dear, I think? - he said
to the Queen.
- Never! - said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the
Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off writing on
his slate with one finger, as he found it made no mark; but he now hastily
began again, using the ink, that was trickling down his face, as long as
it lasted.)
- Then the words don't FIT you, - said the King, looking round the
court with a smile. There was a dead silence.
- It's a pun! - the King added in an offended tone, and everybody
laughed, - Let the jury consider their verdict, - the King said, for about
the twentieth time that day.
- No, no! - said the Queen. - Sentence first - verdict afterwards.
- Stuff and nonsense! - said Alice loudly. - The idea of having the
sentence first!
- Hold your tongue! - said the Queen, turning purple.
- I won't! - said Alice.
- Off with her head! - the Queen shouted at the top of her voice.
Nobody moved.
- Who cares for you? - said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by
this time.) - You're nothing but a pack of cards!
At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down
upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and
tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her head
in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead leaves
that had fluttered down from the trees upon her face.
- Wake up, Alice dear! - said her sister; - Why, what a long sleep
you've had!
- Oh, I've had such a curious dream! - said Alice, and she told her
sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange Adventures
of hers that you have just been reading about; and when she had finished,
her sister kissed her, and said, - It WAS a curious dream, dear,
certainly: but now run in to your tea; it's getting late.
So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she
might, what a wonderful dream it had been.
But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her head on
her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all
her wonderful Adventures, till she too began dreaming after a fashion, and
this was her dream:
First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the tiny
hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes were looking
up into hers - she could hear the very tones of her voice, and see that
queer little toss of her head to keep back the wandering hair that WOULD
always get into her eyes - and still as she listened, or seemed to listen,
the whole place around her became alive the strange creatures of her
little sister's dream.
The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried by -
the frightened Mouse splashed his way through the neighbouring pool - she
could hear the rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends
shared their never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering
off her unfortunate guests to execution - once more the pig-baby was
sneezing on the Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it
- once more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's
slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, filled the
air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable Mock Turtle.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on each side to guard him;
and near the King was the White Rabbit, with a trumpet in one hand, and a
scroll of parchment in the other. In the very middle of the court was a
table, with a large dish of tarts upon it: they looked so good, that it
made Alice quite hungry to look at them - I wish they'd get the trial
done, - she thought, - and hand round the refreshments! - But there seemed
to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about her, to
pass away the time.
Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had read
about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that she knew the
name of nearly everything there. - That's the judge, - she said to
herself, - because of his great wig.
The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown over
the wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he did it,) he
did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly not becoming.
- And that's the jury-box, - thought Alice, - and those twelve
creatures, - (she was obliged to say - creatures, - you see, because some
of them were animals, and some were birds,) - I suppose they are the
jurors. - She said this last word two or three times over to herself,
being rather proud of it: for she thought, and rightly too, that very few
little girls of her age knew the meaning of it at all. However, - jury-men
- would have done just as well.
The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. - What are
they doing? - Alice whispered to the Gryphon. - They can't have anything
to put down yet, before the trial's begun.
- They're putting down their names, - the Gryphon whispered in reply,
- for fear they should forget them before the end of the trial. - Stupid
things! - Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but she stopped hastily,
for the White Rabbit cried out, - Silence in the court! - and the King put
on his spectacles and looked anxiously round, to make out who was talking.
Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their shoulders,
that all the jurors were writing down - stupid things! - on their slates,
and she could even make out that one of them didn't know how to spell -
stupid, - and that he had to ask his neighbour to tell him. - A nice
muddle their slates'll be in before the trial's over! - thought Alice.
One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course, Alice
could not stand, and she went round the court and got behind him, and very
soon found an opportunity of taking it away. She did it so quickly that
the poor little juror (it was Bill, the Lizard) could not make out at all
what had become of it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was obliged
to write with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was of very
little use, as it left no mark on the slate.
- Herald, read the accusation! - said the King. On this the White
Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and then unrolled the parchment
scroll, and read as follows:
- The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, All on a summer day:
The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts,
And took them quite away!
- Consider your verdict, - the King said to the jury.
- Not yet, not yet! - the Rabbit hastily interrupted. - There's a
great deal to come before that!
- Call the first witness, - said the King; and the White Rabbit blew
three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, - First witness!
The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in one
hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. - I beg pardon, your
Majesty, - he began, - for bringing these in: but I hadn't quite finished
my tea when I was sent for.
- You ought to have finished, - said the King. - When did you begin?
The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into the court,
arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. - Fourteenth of March, I think it was, - he
said.
- Fifteenth, - said the March Hare.
- Sixteenth, - added the Dormouse.
- Write that down, - the King said to the jury, and the jury eagerly
wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then added them up, and
reduced the answer to shillings and pence.
- Take off your hat, - the King said to the Hatter.
- It isn't mine, - said the Hatter.
- Stolen! - the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who instantly
made a memorandum of the fact.
- I keep them to sell, - the Hatter added as an explanation; - I've
none of my own. I'm a hatter.
Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the
Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted.
- Give your evidence, - said the King; - and don't be nervous, or
I'll have you executed on the spot.
This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept shifting
form one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the Queen, and in his
confusion he bit a large piece out of his teacup instead of the
bread-and-butter.
Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which
puzzled her a good deal until she made out what it was: she was beginning
to grow larger again, and she thought at first she would get up and leave
the court; but on second thoughts she decided to remain where she was as
long as there was room for her.
- I wish you wouldn't squeeze so. - said the Dormouse, who was
sitting next to her. - I can hardly breathe.
- I can't help it, - said Alice very meekly: - I'm growing.
- You've no right to grow here, - said the Dormouse.
- Don't talk nonsense, - said Alice more boldly: - you know you're
growing too.
- Yes, but I grow at a reasonable pace, - said the Dormouse: - not in
that ridiculous fashion. - And he got up very sulkily and crossed over to
the other side of the court.
All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter,
and, just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to one of the
officers of the court, - Bring me the list of the singers in the last
concert! - on which the wretched Hatter trembled so, that he shook both
his shoes off.
- Give your evidence, - the King repeated angrily, - or I'll have you
executed, whether you're nervous or not.
- I'm a poor man, your Majesty, - the Hatter began, in a trembling
voice, - and I hadn't begun my tea - not above a week or so - and what
with the bread-and-butter getting so thin - and the twinkling of the tea
- The twinkling of the what? - said the King.
- It began with the tea, - the Hatter replied.
- Of course twinkling begins with a T! - said the King sharply. - Do
you take me for a dunce? Go on!
- I'm a poor man, - the Hatter went on, - and most things twinkled
after that - only the March Hare said
- I didn't! - said the Hatter.
- I deny it! - said the King: - leave out that part.
- Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said - the Hatter went on, looking
anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but the Dormouse denied
nothing, being fast asleep.
- After that, - continued the Hatter, - I cut some more bread
and-butter
- But what did the Dormouse say? - one of the jury asked.
- That I can't remember, - said the Hatter.
- You MUST remember, - remarked the King, - or I'll have you
executed. The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter,
and went down on one knee. - I'm a poor man, your Majesty, - he began.
- You're a very poor speaker, - said the King. Here one of the
guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately suppressed by the officers of the
court. (As that is rather a hard word, I will just explain to you how it
was done. They had a large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth with
strings: into this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat
upon it.)
- I'm glad I've seen that done, - thought Alice. - I've so often read
in the newspapers, at the end of trials, - There was some attempts at
applause, which was immediately suppressed by the officers of the court, -
and I never understood what it meant till now.
- If that's all you know about it, you may stand down, - continued
the King.
- I can't go no lower, - said the Hatter: - I'm on the floor, as it
is.
- Then you may SIT down, - the King replied. Here the other
guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed. - Come, that finished the
guinea-pigs! - thought Alice. - Now we shall get on better.
- I'd rather finish my tea, - said the Hatter, with an anxious look
at the Queen, who was reading the list of singers.
- You may go, - said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the
court, without even waiting to put his shoes on.
- and just take his head off outside, - the Queen added to one of the
officers: but the Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get to
the door.
- Call the next witness! - said the King. The next witness was the
Duchess's cook. She carried the pepper-box in her hand, and Alice guessed
who it was, even before she got into the court, by the way the people near
the door began sneezing all at once.
- Give your evidence, - said the King.
- Shan't, - said the cook. The King looked anxiously at the White
Rabbit, who said in a low voice, - Your Majesty must cross-examine THIS
witness.
- Well, if I must, I must, - the King said, with a melancholy air,
and, after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till his eyes were
nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, - What are tarts made of?
- Pepper, mostly, - said the cook.
- Treacle, - said a sleepy voice behind her.
- Collar that Dormouse, - the Queen shrieked out. - Behead that
Dormouse! Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch him! Off
with his whiskers!
For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the
Dormouse turned out, and, by the time they had settled down again, the
cook had disappeared.
- Never mind! - said the King, with an air of great relief. - Call
the next witness. - And he added in an undertone to the Queen, - Really,
my dear, YOU must cross-examine the next witness. It quite makes my
forehead ache!
Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list, feeling
very curious to see what the next witness would be like, - for they
haven't got much evidence YET, - she said to herself. Imagine her
surprise, when the White Rabbit read out, at the top of his shrill little
voice, the name - Alice!
CHAPTER XII
Alice's Evidence
- Here! - cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment
how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in such
a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her skirt,
upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the crowd below, and there
they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a globe of goldfish
she had accidentally upset the week before.
- Oh, I BEG your pardon! - she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay,
and began picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the accident
of the goldfish kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of idea
that they must be collected at once and put back into the jury-box, or
they would die.
- The trial cannot proceed, - said the King in a very grave voice, -
until all the jurymen are back in their proper places-ALL, - he repeated
with great emphasis, looking hard at Alice as he said do.
Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she had put
the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing was waving its
tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable to move. She soon got
it out again, and put it right; - not that it signifies much, - she said
to herself; - I should think it would be QUITE as much use in the trial
one way up as the other.
As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being
upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and handed back to
them, they set to work very diligently to write out a history of the
accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed too much overcome to do
anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into the roof of the
court.
- What do you know about this business? - the King said to Alice.
- Nothing, - said Alice.
- Nothing WHATEVER? - persisted the King.
- Nothing whatever, - said Alice.
- That's very important, - the King said, turning to the jury. They
were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when the White
Rabbit interrupted: - UNimportant, your Majesty means, of course, - he
said in a very respectful tone, but frowning and making faces at him as he
spoke.
- UNimportant, of course, I meant, - the King hastily said, and went
on to himself in an undertone,
- important - unimportant-unimportant - important - as if he were
trying which word sounded best.
Some of the jury wrote it down - important, - and some - unimportant.
Alice could see this, as she was near enough to look over their slates; -
but it doesn't matter a bit, - she thought to herself.
At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily writing in
his note-book, cackled out - Silence! - and read out from his book,
- Rule Forty-two. ALL PERSONS MORE THAN A MILE HIGH TO LEAVE THE
COURT.
Everybody looked at Alice. - I'M not a mile high, - said Alice. - You
are, - said the King. - Nearly two miles high, - added the Queen. - Well,
I shan't go, at any rate, - said Alice: - besides, that's not a regular
rule: you invented it just now.
- It's the oldest rule in the book, - said the King.
- Then it ought to be Number One, - said Alice. The King turned pale,
and shut his note-book hastily. - Consider your verdict, - he said to the
jury, in a low, trembling voice.
- There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty, - said the
White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; - this paper has just been
picked up.
- What's in it? - said the Queen.
- I haven't opened it yet, said the White Rabbit, - but it seems to
be a letter, written by the prisoner to - to somebody.
- It must have been that, - said the King, - unless it was written to
nobody, which isn't usual, you know.
- Who is it directed to? - said one of the jurymen.
- It isn't directed at all, - said the White Rabbit; - in fact,
there's nothing written on the OUTSIDE. - He unfolded the paper as he
spoke, and added - It isn't a letter, after all: it's a set of verses.
- Are they in the prisoner's handwriting? - asked another of they
jurymen.
- No, they're not, - said the White Rabbit, - and that's the queerest
thing about it. - (The jury all looked puzzled.)
- He must have imitated somebody else's hand, - said the King. (The
jury all brightened up again.)
- Please your Majesty, - said the Knave, - I didn't write it, and
they can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.
- If you didn't sign it, - said the King, - that only makes the
matter worse. You MUST have meant some mischief, or else you'd have signed
your name like an honest man.
There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the first
really clever thing the King had said that day.
- That PROVES his guilt, - said the Queen.
- It proves nothing of the sort! - said Alice. - Why, you don't even
know what they're about!
- Read them, - said the King. The White Rabbit put on his spectacles.
- Where shall I begin, please your Majesty? - he asked.
- Begin at the beginning, - the King said gravely, - and go on till
you come to the end: then stop.
These were the verses the White Rabbit read:
- They told me you had been to her,
And mentioned me to him:
She gave me a good character,
But said I could not swim.
He sent them word I had not gone
(We know it to be true):
If she should push the matter on,
What would become of you?
I gave her one, they gave him two,
You gave us three or more;
They all returned from him to you,
Though they were mine before.
If I or she should chance to be
Involved in this affair,
He trusts to you to set them free,
Exactly as we were.
My notion was that you had been
(Before she had this fit)
An obstacle that came between
Him, and ourselves, and it.
Don't let him know she liked them best,
For this must ever be
A secret, kept from all the rest,
Between yourself and me.
- That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet, - said
the King, rubbing his hands; - so now let the jury
- If any one of them can explain it, - said Alice, (she had grown so
large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit afraid of interrupting
him,) - I'll give him sixpence. _I_ don't believe there's an atom of
meaning in it.
The jury all wrote down on their slates, - SHE doesn't believe
there's an atom of meaning in it, - but none of them attempted to explain
the paper.
- If there's no meaning in it, - said the King, - that saves a world
of trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. And yet I don't know,
- he went on, spreading out the verses on his knee, and looking at them
with one eye; - I seem to see some meaning in them, after all.
- SAID I COULD NOT SWIM - you can't swim, can you? - he added,
turning to the Knave.
The Knave shook his head sadly. - Do I look like it? - he said.
(Which he certainly did NOT, being made entirely of cardboard.)
- All right, so far, - said the King, and he went on muttering over
the verses to himself: - WE KNOW IT TO BE TRUE - that's the jury, of
course - - I GAVE HER ONE, THEY GAVE HIM TWO - why, that must be what he
did with the tarts, you know
- But, it goes on - THEY ALL RETURNED FROM HIM TO YOU, - said Alice.
- Why, there they are! - said the King triumphantly, pointing to the
tarts on the table. - Nothing can be clearer than THAT. Then again -
BEFORE SHE HAD THIS FIT - you never had fits, my dear, I think? - he said
to the Queen.
- Never! - said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the
Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off writing on
his slate with one finger, as he found it made no mark; but he now hastily
began again, using the ink, that was trickling down his face, as long as
it lasted.)
- Then the words don't FIT you, - said the King, looking round the
court with a smile. There was a dead silence.
- It's a pun! - the King added in an offended tone, and everybody
laughed, - Let the jury consider their verdict, - the King said, for about
the twentieth time that day.
- No, no! - said the Queen. - Sentence first - verdict afterwards.
- Stuff and nonsense! - said Alice loudly. - The idea of having the
sentence first!
- Hold your tongue! - said the Queen, turning purple.
- I won't! - said Alice.
- Off with her head! - the Queen shouted at the top of her voice.
Nobody moved.
- Who cares for you? - said Alice, (she had grown to her full size by
this time.) - You're nothing but a pack of cards!
At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying down
upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half of anger, and
tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on the bank, with her head
in the lap of her sister, who was gently brushing away some dead leaves
that had fluttered down from the trees upon her face.
- Wake up, Alice dear! - said her sister; - Why, what a long sleep
you've had!
- Oh, I've had such a curious dream! - said Alice, and she told her
sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange Adventures
of hers that you have just been reading about; and when she had finished,
her sister kissed her, and said, - It WAS a curious dream, dear,
certainly: but now run in to your tea; it's getting late.
So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she
might, what a wonderful dream it had been.
But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her head on
her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of little Alice and all
her wonderful Adventures, till she too began dreaming after a fashion, and
this was her dream:
First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the tiny
hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes were looking
up into hers - she could hear the very tones of her voice, and see that
queer little toss of her head to keep back the wandering hair that WOULD
always get into her eyes - and still as she listened, or seemed to listen,
the whole place around her became alive the strange creatures of her
little sister's dream.
The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried by -
the frightened Mouse splashed his way through the neighbouring pool - she
could hear the rattle of the teacups as the March Hare and his friends
shared their never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering
off her unfortunate guests to execution - once more the pig-baby was
sneezing on the Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it
- once more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's
slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs, filled the
air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable Mock Turtle.
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